What man has left behind from youth

What man has left behind from youth


Has the thought ever entered your mind, upon observing children at different stages of their development, why it seems that as they grow older a certain attribute of their youth diminishes? As if something has begun to cover an important element over, which we adults often identify as innocence? Those children, of a very young age, appear to be in a state where they do not look at life and individuals with the trappings that we do; there is a color in their expression, a sort of magic.

It is not necessarily wrong, to identify it as innocence, as this categorization is the result of attempting to place what one simply does not know, but can only seem to feel. Adults can feel a difference in children, as they were once children, and they can connect to the personalities that are connected to their childhood, and by doing so, they can mildly experience a nostalgia, a closeness to “something” which does not feel that evident in their common experiences now, which in all intents and purposes, has all but disappeared in their internal life.

This “something” is other worldly, if other worldly is related to this level of being, the world of man, and the world of man does not at all relate to this something, only to what is its own. At the level of man, we find the organic activities of a consciousness which finds its activity in relation to the forms which exists within its field of perception. In other words, the world of man deals with the lower level of mind, the personalities of that lower level, and the body, which the mind is hinged by the vibration of to function at that lower level. The Laws of Nature only takes man so far in its growth, it’s up to man to develop the mind from this default state by the Laws.

The World of Man, in short is designed to meet the needs of the segmented mind and its possible expansion/birth. Being a mental womb, it’s purposes is to give the mind the conditions, much like the physical womb, to grow and expand, and reach its full germination – it’s birth. The issue is that due to the World of Man appealing to the lower fragments of mind, results in these fragmentation’s supplanting essence-self for its birthright, which is to grow and manifest. The level of mind most exists within, gives rise to personalities, which although in many cases manifest due to the work that has to be achieved within the life they are living, totally covers over that something which is evident from birth, and perhaps can be felt from conception inside the mother, I am not a woman so I would have to ask a woman about this… but from my memories of being in the womb, I believe my mom could feel my essence.

At conception, which is the joining of the generating Sperm and the reflective Ovum, a kernel of the Soul-self becomes imprinted upon the resulting Zygote of the union. This Kernel is known as the essence-self, or the embryonic-image, which is the physical self of the upper heavenly kingdoms, sometimes portrayed as the Prodigal Son. The fullness of the Soul-self can not normally manifest in a physical body that can only support the vibration of its 3 dimensional nature, and the mind of the body, which normally is maintained to a lower point of human consciousness, cannot support its multidimensional and all-compassing reality in its polarized, undeveloped, and disharmonious state. In short the lower mind is simply not expanded to have the Soul-self be born in it, and the expansion of the lower mind depends on the transformation of the vibration associated with the physical body.

There is a dichotomy that is at play here, between The Essence-self and that which can be termed as ego-personality. The Ego-personality is the false personality of the lower mind, which gains strength over the Essence-Self, depending on the power of its connections to the world. The Essence-Self is that part of self which is a person’s authentic personality, which one parts from, usually but not exclusively, as everyone is different, at the age of 5 or 4. It so happens that at this age, man reaches the default maturing of a normally functioning motor, speech, and learning processes necessary to interact in the society of man. At this point gradually, as one comes more into the artificiality of their ego-personality, the more essence-self moves into a subconscious state. And this process of the gradual strengthening and fragmentation of ego-personality happens through education. This of course is not just the education of public school systems, but education can mean any outer influential source/presence or impressions that makes connections to points in personality causing further divisions and shifting. A proper education is needed, as the personalities should be strengthened in the positive and healthy way with their connections to the earth.

If you plant a seed in soil, and the soil doesn’t become suitable for the growth of the seed, it remains (in embryo), having never been able to manifest. The essence-self/embryonic images natural growth becomes atrophied when the ego-personality of lower mind becomes further strengthened, in an unhealthy way which is counter to ones Soul-self and the mind ceasing to never expand, due in part to ego-personality having never been developed. This atrophying process that takes place in a person is to such a degree that their essence-self is a total non-factor in their existence, it can be said that they don’t even have a Soul and it doesn’t mean they have to be what people would determine the worst type of person, and it’s a common condition. When you interact with people, you are interacting with a certain fragments out of the aggregations of personalities that make up their personality, which is a collective.

But although the above exist, the essence-self has a continual interconnectedness with ones Soul-Self, via a portal, a tunnel which maintains its connectedness. In short, while the essence-self would exist as a seed implanted within the mind, it is still within the reality of its Soul-self, via its connection and point in the soul-self – Quantum Entanglement comes to mind. This may seem like a paradox, but we exist within the mind of our soul-self, and there is nothing that is not mind. Like the parable of the sower and seed, the seed although thrown to the earth, maintains its reality as a seed within the tree it had fallen from. And this mental seed was implanted within the organic condition of the mind for its own development and this development is dependent upon the richness and purity of the soil. And this soil also acts like a protective film, shell for the seed of essence-self — the image of a nut which is resting within its protective outer shell comes to mind, or the flesh of a fruit which crowds its seeds.

The further one moves away from their birthright from their Soul Self, the essence-self, to ego-personality which may be totally involved (and influenced) in the sensations and vibrations of the lower natures and mindsets of this world, the further one is away from their Soul-Self. Some lives are so far removed, there is nothing that can be done for them, no matter the manipulation by the soul-self to reach them, and sometimes even massive shocks are not enough. It would be like laying cement over the unsuitable soil, but of course if there is enough moisture, even a plant can break through the cracks, but of course that takes a long time, and not a single life for such a person whose development is via the left hand of correction, that seem to not be able to turn that hand over to the right.

The only question is, what is it like to see or experience through essence-self? Since man is so withdrawn from his birthright, essence-self, he exists on autopilot – mechanically and thus far away from essence-self. But while man is asleep, his physical body and its appetites go into a doormat function, and it frees up the essence-self — as the functions related to the body go to slumber, the essence-self has less constraint. There has been the saying that dreams are a doorway to the soul, and while this is true, it is also a time where lucid dreaming is possible and essence self can go off to plan what needs to be accomplished for the next day with others. But one doesn’t have to be asleep to experience an attribute of essence-self… When one is able and capable to induce conscious-awareness, one is able to experience an attribute of essence-self. Whereas children only naturally experience an attribute of essence-self, an adult can experience this reality on a whole other scale, if they develop further this conscious-attribute.

In conscious-awareness one can begin to see through the essence-self, and see with eyes beyond the organic vision, the dull color of life is changed to glowingly bright forms — and with gradual maintenance, the other uniqueness of man and the laws upon man, can be seen in very DIRECT ways. It can not be diminished that, each of us, are dwelling within a big dream of our soul-selves. Just like in dreams, one can awaken, and gain control of the dream and utilize the dream to bring in themselves new capacities — to help overcome something difficult in their life, one can awaken in life to the conscious-awareness via their essence-self and achieve the same, and even more, during their waking state – like a waking lucid state.

Quelling the Mutiny

Now upon the stage we find our Actor walking about being idle. The teacher noticing this idleness, walks before him and speaks thus: Boy, I have quite a story to tell you! It will help you to come to terms with certain practices which are key in understanding the process of development of conscious-acting upon the stage of life. So this story or parable is designed with this aim in mind. After I finish this tale, I will ask you questions, so that you, through your own opinion and capacity, can explain the reality which this story is concealing. So take a sit and listen well…


The name of this parable is called:

Quelling the Mutiny



There was once a great ship which had a multitude of workers/crewmen, with a very wise Captain/Navigator at the helm. Through certain travels, the crew had grown restless. In the beginning of the Captains travels he started out very simple. It was just him on a little boat. But he would stop by places that his father told him about in his youth; the wonders and glories of different lands and cultures. While doing so he would pick people with an interest in joining him in his travels. After sometime, the number of people increased greatly, and thus his small ship became a large one of many members.

When one is on the high seas they may be away from their relationships, wants, and cares for a while with really no telling when they will be reunited with such. But the travels to the various destinations are important for everyone on the ship, as these travels are the source of their money. But nevertheless the crew was very restless. Eventually, they came up with a plan, they decide to capture the navigator/captain and throw him into holding and so they could then take over the helm and go wherever they wanted, to fulfill their own desires. So they one night when the Navigator was resting while the ship was anchored, drugged him in order to make him unconscious, so there would be no struggle, after which they locked him in holding.

Meanwhile the crewmen by night were joyous because now they could go wherever they wanted. But an odd occurrence happened. When they approached the helm, every one of them put forth their hand to direct it. Shocking, everyone thought. They did not anticipate this occurring, that all of them can not take the helm at once, which means that only one of them could steer the ship at a time. As they were all born in different locals in the world each with different wants and desires as far as places they wanted to go. Many of them also were not efficient in navigating a ship and anyways even if they wanted to navigate the ship, every one of them wanted to as well, which meant that the jobs they once did which helped to keep everything moving such as maintaining it, fixing of the foods, and the labors in assisting the navigation no one did anymore. Everyone seemed to want to be the leader. What a conundrum! They could not come to any conclusions amongst each other. As a result they became desperate and fighting broke out amongst them. They would steal the helm from each other whenever they were compelled to by staring out at the seas and imagining or seeing the thing they wanted the most.

Each minuet this would happen, which meant that none of the crewmen were getting any closer to the thing that they thought they wanted, in fact the ship made little progress in any direction. And with everyone wanting their turn at the helm, backstabbing and being underhanded, none of their jobs were done which meant that gradually they began to waste their food and the ship itself started to come to ruin. It most be noted that the crew were not evil men, it\’s just that in such circumstances, they all began to react in a state of desperation, each in the way that is accustomed to their nature when under strain and in want.

While this continuous munity happened there were some of the crew who had already held higher positions on the ship and had a capacity to reason that there must be a better way. They thought, reasonably, we have been here for a long time now, if there was never a munity we would\’ve reached at least some destination, got shelter, and been at least feed. Our last state, AS A WHOLE, would\’ve been better than our first. And in addition the Destination our Captain spoke of was a very rich place that is said to be in the Light of the Sun all year round, almost as if there is no more changing of the seasons. So these reasonable men decided that somehow they must get to the captain and free him. But they could not do so forcibly against such a mad mob with all their agenda\’s moving them to act the way they do individually from each other. The only thing they could do was band together and stay very alert.

Things came to a point where the fighting simply consumed the crewman. They didn\’t even know why they were fighting anymore, due to this at times they would have to pause to remember what was the purpose of their fighting. In these pauses, the small band of reasonable crewman could bring to the others attention in what state the whole of the ship had fallen.  That no progress was made and about how the destination that they would\’ve reached, that they did not know about, was vast and has great prospects for us all — not just our captain. While some of these reasonable crewmen distracted the mad men with these talks about their predicament in these periods, one of them would slyly steer the helm.  Others of the reasonable crewman, would help in the ways which they were knowledgeable about. Little by little they were making progress and the one who would \”slyly\” steer to make these little movements of progress actually started to become quite good at steering due to the experience acquired. He had come to adapt to the various forces of the waves and winds while doing this. But the progression, while having some, was not a great deal. So these reasonable men having persuaded many, that one among them had learned to steer the ship better than any of us and should be the new head of the helm, since being one of us lowly crewman, he would navigate for our own NEEDS. The rest of the crewman who had gone mad, could see how this was a good prospect for them, and they agreed that he should navigate for THEM.

It got to the point that each of the crewmen, having left behind their selfish ideas, began to see that they all could be fulfilled in someway if they reached the destination that the captain had originally made for them. Having done so, the newest replacement captain, gaining the trust of the crew over a certain period of time, that he persuaded them that the Captain should be freed since only he knew the destination.  So having freed him and feed him, bringing him back to full strength they approached the helm. The difference this time was that many followed under the replacement navigator, who was one of them, who was now the first matey of the renewed Captain.

The procedure upon the ship became thus: the Captain interacted with the crew through the first matey. And with this order of command things moved smoothly. Each did their work to reach the same destination; from crew to first mate to Captain. And it would be this way, until all of the crewmen would follow the directions of their Captain working together for the common destination.

And that concludes the tale…


The Teacher becomes very silent for a few minuets while our Actor sits, pondering the story, contemplating it with what he has already learned thus far on the stage.

The Teacher looking at our Actor, speaks: Well come on boy, we don\’t have all day!

Nervously our Actor says: O.. OO…Okay… right away I can sort of see a connection between the ship and the body.  The crewmen would be the content of the body, that formed through experience? In past talks it was suggested that the past leaves an imprint upon us, that various parts of our organic-personality become, as it were, shackled to different past moments and live for those moments alone, despite whatever it is that we ought to be doing now. I can see this in the analogy of the Navigator starting out small, but with each travel collecting adding a new crewman with him. Am I close?

The Teacher responds: That\’s some good thinking you got going on there, sounds good to me… but remember not to box in your own thought. The ship can be the body, you have to keep in mind that all of life is holographic. The body is a pattern that is made dense, our mind is the source of the body from one perspective. So it can be said, while the body can be the ship, since its source is in the mind, i.e. that the pattern we see in the body is nothing more than a projected mental image of the pattern which the mind is formed in, it can also be said that the ship represents the mind, roughly. Each crewman can be seen as exactly what you suggest here, segments of the organic-personality which exist within their own time.


The mind then becomes a fractured \”consciousness\” of many different systems, like that of the body. Only difference here is that it\’s density is much different, and the organs which it has are organs which deal with perception, perspective, thought, impressions, and state of consciousness of MAN. Each organ of the mind houses certain personalities, an aggregation of many segments which a person calls \”I\”. In the same manner that the body has 12 organs, so does the mind, polarized from right to left, under the holy forces, of Active and Reflective — or Male and female.

The Teacher pauses for a second to look at our Actor and investigate his state of mind through his various mannerisms and asks:

What do you think about the crewman and their shock when reaching for the  helm all tried at once?

Our Actor: It was interesting, I believe this has to do with the fact that  the personalities can only occupy the head of a person by turn.

The Teacher responds: Yes this is true…

One thing that a would be \”conscious actor\” must notice is how only ONE crewman could navigate the ship at a time. With the characters of personality, a person lives in their last shifting of personality. Only one character of personality can take the lead at a time — hence the shock of the crewman. From experience, evoked by stimulus, does associations unwind like a scroll upon the floor. One personality while being at the helm or in control, another which is \”subconscious\” can be evoked into the moment, due to the law of associations, that everything has a relationship to something — but it can not take the helm or position of control at the same time. The most important thing here, which I believe is being missed, is that emotion actually is triggered before thought. Perception opens, immediately are emotional associations triggered, then the personality which is identified with that emotion is consumed with it, since it has a certain relationship with it.

In the story where do you believe this is presented?

Our Actor: When each of the crewman, remembering or experiencing moments from the places they were from and this desire moved them to take the wheel.

The Teacher: That sounds fine to me…  I have another question, what of the Captain? What does he represent, young one?

Our Actor looking a little bit confused, looks to his teacher to help him through.

The Teacher noticing this, decides to give him a hint: Well… remember what I explained about \”I\”, how there is an \”I\” that stands behind the organic-personality and what I don\’t see myself as?

Our actor responds: Yes. I remember this.

The Teacher: Well think of this.


Our Actor: Okay. So this Captain is the \”I\” of a person before they formed personality. That essential part which existed before what was counterfeit covered it. I guess the crewmen locking away this essential part of a person, is an example of how personality moves this essential part into a passive and inactive role in the life of a person.

Our Teacher: For sure. This essential part is called by many names, sometimes erroneously called \”soul\”. It is not a \”Soul\”. Rather it can be called the \”essence-self\”. It is that part of self, that one was \”born with\”, it is the real and authentic \”physical self\”, more authentic then the body you were given from your mother. But since we are going with the word counterfeit for a region of personality, lets call this \”essence -self\” the Authentic self. When each person was born, their birth right was this authentic self, as they acquired it from a higher level of being, one of which could be accurately called \”Soul\”. The authentic self comes from the \”Soul\”, you may remember me explaining how each has a Great Thespian they are a expression from, well that is what the Soul is. In this story, the destination, which has the sun year round, which is the home land of our Captain, is the Soul.

Our Actor replies: So the Soul is like our higher self?

The Teacher: Yes, but I do not like the word higher self.

Our Actor: And since this Destination does not dwell in the ship, but in another land a part from it, it goes without saying that the world/Realm of the Soul does not dwell within the body, but only a part of the land/or Soul exist in the body-mind/ship on the account of the \”Captain\” who could be seen as a \”parcel of that land\”.

The Teacher: You\’re on fire tonight, boy!

Our Actor: So then all of us, we all share one Soul???

Our Teacher: You were doing so good too.. tsk tsk tsk.

No! We do not all share \”one soul\”. Remember, all things are holographic. Each individual is an expression of a single Divine Thespian, or Soul-Self. Each person was not born with a Soul, but born from a \”Soul\”, of which they are striving to have born in them. Through transformation and inner unity can they manifest the whole of the \”Soul\” they are from into their body — Thus becoming their Divine Thespian in the flesh.

But lets not lose our place! What of the reasonable men and what of the one among them who becomes the first mate?

Our Actor: Perhaps that part of personality that wants to develop towards the same aim as the Captain. Parts of our personality that love to learn of things which are essential to development and life, knowledge which is sourced from above ordinary organic thinking. These begin to grow together and out from among them, a leader is born.


Our Teacher: Yes a leader is born or the potential leader, who carries this position until the real \”I\”, or authentic self of the physical takes over again. It must be noted, just like in our story where the captain/navigator was imprisoned, the authentic self of the physical, growth has become atrophied from the strengthening ego-personality and the overall condition of the physical condition. It\’s coming back into a position of power is through the development of the greater whole of the personality and physical condition, which gives this possibility. It is the development of the leader, which assist in this aim. The leader becomes that which \”acts\” as the authentic self until it gains its complete strength again.

If you remember, this \”Potential leader\” we call an Inner Director of the play of \”characters\” which goes on in us. This potential leader is an observing state at first, the best amongst the group of personality that is reasonable (more awareness towards a need for knowledge and the development of discernment to know what is best for them). It gains its position because it has accumulated strength and knowledge about self through studying the other characters of personality. It has recorded and measured things, it is very distinct, calculated, it does not identify with the things which are seen, but it maintains its own space a part from what is seen– as it steps back from what one has come to see themselves as. It can step in, at points, to bring to attention what is best for the person, which other personalities simply do not know nor care for.

This observing state can act with conscience, so that one feels and sees all at once what is best — in fact the standing back from self which the leader does, brings into ones life more the feeling of conscience and this conscience can help the characters of personality towards what is good. One gains an inner sensing from this instinctive intuitive center called conscience, to attract and reach for the good. In our story here, we see conscience taking root when our reasonable crewmen saw that their mutiny got them no where and they felt bad about it and once having gained understanding with others of the crew, sought to free the captain which they had a hand in binding prior. This is an act of internal grace, from personality of one polarity to another, bridging the divide which separates them.

But conscience is not dependent on a leader, for it exist already made before it. Conscience is connected to the emotional, so that one feels the objectivity of the situation which involves them despite the shifting of perspectives which come with stimuli to support ones delusions about themselves. While my mind may change, my heart feels beyond it. The germ of conscience exist in everyone and can be grown. For those who know the joy of it\’s reminder of reality through remorse, know the course of right and correct action, choices which are not justified to fit with the delusions that one sees themselves as. For there are natural barriers which exist that prevent the action of conscience and obstructs reality to always be in keeping with a single perspective that supports ones own perspective or in other words, whatever one does, will be seen opposite to what it is. When one does something wrong to another, being seen as right in their eyes, justifications will be present to obstruct the possible \”experiencing\” of self as being flawed in a situation.

This conscience, if awakened, can begin to teach the characters of organic personality how to be.  The feeling of remorse which escapes perspective, can make these fragments or characters reconsider their own thinking, or how they perceive themselves. For that pain digs at you, until you consider it, and strive to make a change. In making that change, it gives strength to the leader.

Or Actor, looking as though he is starting to \”get it\’ responds: I understand teacher. But for the sake of acting, how should I even look at the process of  attachments? How should I see this, so as to be practical in my experience?

Teacher surprised by this question answers: Well it is simple. Think of the story of crewmen, my boy, would you call it an attachment that they yearned for, care for, and want to see again those people and places that they are connected too? That our brave crewman went on the high sea, for work and adventure, so look upon these \”feelings\” as burdens? Why because there is pain in being away from it, pain over what you do not have in the \”moment\”? Personality looks ahead, it only suffers now based on the emotions that it identifies with. But this is not necessarily a good or bad thing, but one can ponder the emotion, without having to become loss in it.

But why should this be seen as a burden? These crewmen have relationships  to these things — how these things relate to them, how they relate to these things, and what is the give and take between such an relationship. This works the same way WITH what people would call attachments. They are relationships, how a personality relates to something in its own perspective — if I have a personality that has a problem with a certain friend, and around them, this personality always appears and acts accordingly from its perspective, then this occurs based on a relationship.  It acts this way and sees this way, because this is how it relates.  The same thing can be applied to the body, if my body craves something, it does so because of it\’s \”relationship with it\” — there is an association, it has been already built and defined, an aspect of the consciousness of my body loves it and the thing which it loves communicates back to it in terms of vibration.

And it exist this way for most things, whatever your attention rest upon, impressions of that form is received through the senses. These impressions trigger personalities, emotions, and urges, based on the association these have with the form. There is already a pre-existent relationship and it is this that is projected upon the form.

Once one begins to see it, everything has a relationship — \”personalities\” have a relationship to the thing which it is drawn to, the same for the lower nature, etc. Depending on the maturity or development, this relationship can either be unhealthy or healthy. Healthy being that which can assist you in a positive way or just be something that cause neither harm nor foul.

This even exist in us between different functions or levels of being in us. There is a relationship between personalities, an relationship between personality and the emotions, relationship between the body and emotions, the body and the mind, and so forth.  And these relationships don\’t fade, yet one can suppress them, but this suppression neither aids nor heals, just puts it off, but it will come again, as the Laws will demand that there \”harmony\” between these relationships are fulfilled. It is these internal relationships which a person striving to be a conscious actor is really striving to change. The way we react to the outside world, reflects the state of our internal world — one thing reacts that way in us because everything each reacts that way in us — but if these relationships are developed more healthy and put in order, then we change the way of how we not only relate to the world,  but how self sufficient we are from it.

Relationships are developed — from unhealthy to healthy, from disharmony to harmony and everything has a relationship to something, if you know what it is, then your inner director can act as a mediator. So when you see something in yourself and you see how you are identified with something, think of it as a relationship that exist and ask yourself is this relationship unhealthy and how can I improve upon it, so that it aids me, and that which is in me that is identified, can express to its utmost zenith of expressions.

our Actor: Ah a relationship! That makes a lot of sense to me. But is there a way, that I can better \”see\” these various shifting of the characters of personality? I remember you explain, back in one of your lectures, that a person lives in their last shifting of the characters of personality, hence why it is not at all easy to see. Is there any methods or practices which can aid me in this?

The teacher: You have to begin to gain a sense for it, the Director in you, or the First Matey, he is acquiring little by little knowledge of these various shifts through self study. Contact must be made to the body and emotions, because with each personality shift, they have their rhythm and will be identified with certain feelings (have relationship with certain feelings), the body movements will shift in a subtle way, the voice may shift a bit, and even the breath can change.  These are all indicators and as you look into, you will gain a inner sensing of the truth of what is appearing, or attempting to assume power, or has already taken it.

My advice would be to recognize certain ques not just in perspective but reactions in the body and emotions, that are unique to each. These ques will tell you what a shifting personality\’s relationship is with the thing which it is connected to.  It is out of this relationship, that is what defines it, that makes a personality respond in the way it does. It is a perspective and how it views life, but it is also an actual \”part\” which retains how it relates to life/forms and everything which maybe in it\’s \”circle\”. By circle I am referring to \”group\” of personalities and even others not of its group.  It is all relationship and it is essential to observe such relationships in the state they maybe, before any change is made. This can not be stressed enough, like the director of the inner play, there must be made in yourself something of a film recording, to record the dynamics of these relationships, or these parts of yourself  as they are. This film strip will be useful later.

Something even more practical. You have to create a space before the shifting, in order to truly catch it. Not all personalities move at the same rate. Create a space of awareness prior, then you can see everything as it comes in and out. Something else, which is very simple to do is \”feel\”, in terms of sensation, your face. Put attention on your whole face and maintain it. This too prepares a way for observation.

The goal is to get a sense, feeling, and sight of truth more and more, until it swells in you, and consumes whatever falsities their might be left. The falsities of how I am and why I am, which vain imaginations are a stumbling block to real SELF development AND the object and pursuit of all genuine wise men upon the stage, TO KNOW THY SELF!